It hurts like hell, and you probably think you’ll never meet anyone as cool, as cute or as funny as your ex ever again. But you will meet someone, and you will be ok. It just takes time. If you have dumped (or have been the dumper) here are a few little tips to help you deal with your breakup.

Stay Away

You might want to know what your ex is up to, especially if they have been part of your life for so long, but harsh as it may seem, it will be easier for you to move on if you do not contact them.

If you’re comfortable with it, delete their phone number and email address to avoid the temptation to text or phone them when you are feeling vulnerable…or intoxicated.

Don’t look at their Facebook profile, their Twitter Account or any other social networking website and if you know their email password try and erase it from your memory – don’t log in and see what they’ve been up to because a) it’s a little crazy and b) it will only hurt you even more.

Friends

Friends are like family, but better. They are there to support you and help you through the tough times and spending time them is one of the best things you can do. You may be angry and confused about why your relationship ended, and you may feel horrible if it was you who ended the relationship – but don’t dwell on it for too long.

Go out for a few drinks with your mates, have a dance, play a game of tennis – whatever – just make sure you experience plenty of laughter, because it’s true what they say: ‘laughter really is the best medicine’.  See a movie, paint the town red or go for a drive to get away for a bit.

Keep Busy

If you have a lot of time to sit around thinking about the positive parts of your relationship or how witty and uber cool your ex was, it will just prolong the healing process. You need to keep busy.

Leave your personal problems at the door when you are work and try to stay focused and diligent. Take up a hobby if you need to – learn yoga, salsa dancing or something different like a European language. You’ll become your own independent person again and you’ll meet some great new people!

Exercise

It’s probably the last thing you feel like doing, but getting some exercise is a great way to get over that feeling of being low or numb. The feel-good endorphins released into your body when you exercise is like natures way of telling you that ‘everything will be ok’. Go for a run or hit the gym and sweat it out. Don’t sit around eating junk food on the couch.

Treat Yourself

Sometimes it helps to treat ones self to a little gift to cheer up. Splash out and book a massage, buy some flowers or get something flash like a new iPhone. Heck, you could even pick up a smokin’ new outfit for your next night on the town if you want to. You’ll feel confident and a little liberated from your retail therapy – you deserve something nice if it makes you feel better. Screw it!

Time Out

Without sounding like a drama queen – getting over a breakup is hard. Depending on the length of your relationship, for some people it can feel like they are in mourning – which is perfectly understandable because that person is suddenly no longer part of your life.

I know it’s a cliché but ‘time really does heal all wounds’. Don’t jump in the sack immediately after your breakup just to get it out of your system, and try not to start dating someone else on the rebound. You’ll probably end up crashing and burning and you’ll eventually hurt the rebound person too.

Take the time to get over feeling hurt, and take time to get your confidence (or mojo) back. You’ll be ok and will be on the path to recovery in no time.

How To Deal With A Breakup, 5.0 out of 5 based on 5 ratings

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Comments

  1. Shorty says:

    Sound advice! I also like the ‘pretending he never existed’ approach!!

    :)

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  2. RedBeetle says:

    Love it. SO important to remember you have a whole life outside of your relationship.. because it never feels that way after a break up! It’s a good time to relook at all other the things you love doing and go do them – even if it’s as small as lying in the sun with a trashy novel.. and never be afraid to tell friends you need support. they’ve all been there too.

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  3. Annie says:

    I totally agree!

    We often feel so alone and/or isolated in the initial stages of a breakup. It is SO important to make contact with at least one sympatheic friend who can go places with you when you can’t stand to go alone, even if it’s just to the grocery store… or to the club or whatever.

    I always found it therapeutic to focus on the thing that ex loved the most about himself (like his legs or his mind) and find something horrible about them. It wasn’t nearly as hard as I thought with a bit of practice. hehehe Actually it was wonderful to remember those whiteheads on his back, or that morning breath once I was in the space where I could finally let it all go.

    I believe the most important thing of all is to reconnect with friends (they would have inevitably slipped to the side of your life during the term of a short-lived relationship). The joy of spending quality, laughter-filled time with friends will quickly cancel out the painful memories of a less-than-suitable relationship.

    The old adage rings true: Lovers may come and lovers and may go… but true friends are for ever!

    Reach for us – we are there!

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  4. Clarest says:

    Brilliant advice. It’s very true what you said about hanging out with your friends and laughter being the best medicine. Love it!:)

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  5. Xodiac says:

    That’s all from a females point of view, if i may add – from a males point of view.

    Drink yourself to a coma and hopefully those particular memories cells will dissolve in the intoxication, more than one occassion may be neccessary depending on how strong the bonds you had, you may need to get into a tussle with a random on the road to unleash some of that rage, go ahead it’s fine, or even on the new one, that’s fine too.
    Some of that green stuff kills brain cells too, go ahead that’s fine too.
    Stalking is a no-no! There’s more fish in the sea, just don’t drink any of that sea water.

    Forget and preoccupy, good solution.
    Add an extra zing in your step, and you’ll be fine.

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  6. Shoregirl says:

    Some really good advice! I find it really depends on the relationship as to how to deal with a break up. But it’s definitely a good idea to start planning your social calendar and see lots of your friends and try to make some new ones.

    I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing to have a chat with your ex occasionally or have a catch up coffee after a few months as you both would have become good friends. But it really depends on the relationship.

    Make the most of being single again anyway! There are an abundance of positives to it.

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  7. Mr Bob Dobalina says:

    Forget about them and occupy yourself with other stuff. You’ll be sweet.

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  8. Anette says:

    Dats like the best advice,I like it when u say sweat it out since ul end up looking good.Go out have a drink,meet new people,sing out loud,laughing and go shopping.that is all a broken heart needs.we all need this kind of article,great words!

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